My interest in politics has been restored by Caroline Flint.

Honestly! I nearly burnt myself the other morning. There I was, minding my own business, just trying to decide which crease on my trousers to favour, when- Bam! There she is, the Health Minister. Looking for all the world like a Naughty Nurse Strippergram.

Now, I know it will piss a lot of feminists off, and I realise I'm probably putting the cause back for wimmin by even contemplating such base matters, but can I ask you what is the point of trying to iron my trousers in the morning if I'm going to spend the rest of the day wondering how it might feel to be a button on Caroline's blouse?

Apparently, since she's been appointed as Minister of Fitness, her number one priority has been battling the bulge. I'm not at all surprised. It's a wonder they get ANY work done in Doncaster these days.

Health minister? Good choice! Very very very very very healthy! Don't worry about it, Tony! Any man who's not dead, please take one step forward. I want a job on the NHS. Right now. I don't care what it is, as long as I get to work in the same building. I swear I will NOT get bored.

Caroline, you little tease - return my calls! I PROMISE I'll move to Doncaster!

Related:

• BBC News - 'Minister for fitness' appointed
• Caroline's Website