One warm day recently, I walked up to the top of our field to catch the evening breeze, to sit and look out over the valley. By my feet I noticed a large lump of flint, and out of habit went to pick it up, intending to heave it to the edge of the field. A split second after I prised it out of the earth, I dropped it back again. I realised it was on top of an ant's nest. No eggs or larvae or whatever, just loads of small blank ants - panicking...

They raced about madly, in a zig zag fashion, careering back and forward over the surface of the stone, achieving nothing. And all because, for a split second, their world had changed. All that energy expended, with no obvious result achieved.

My world changed a few days after that. There has been a restructure in the offing at work for some time, and someone lifted my stone - but didn't put it back. My old stone, err... sorry, job... has been taken away from me. And I have been thrust into something that seems like the worst ever job. All I could see ahead of me was a future of grey, bleak, boring days of pushing paper and sorting out boring problems.

However I didn't race about in a knee-jerk panic like some people caught up in the changes. I sunk into a morose, inert place. And had to go through a period of mourning and re-adjustment. It was interesting to watch myself go through the pendulum range of reactions - from bitter revengeful planning to resigned shrugging.

I knew deep down how to stop all the mental nonsense, but just had to indulge in a bit of self-pity for a while first!

It's a fine balance, isn't it, between staying in the Here and Now, and needing to look ahead to plan for the future rather than rosy or gloomy daydreams. Its easy to yield to the temptation to take up the ostrich pose too. But the only secure place is that still point in the middle of the see-saw. Not that I can stay there long - something usually tips me off. Usually manufactured by mind.

A couple of days after my stone was lifted, I was walking by the Blue Pool in the Purbecks and saw the most huge ant hill this side of the Sahara. There were ants all over the place on the sandy soil and under the pine trees, but these were purposeful ants, heaving twigs and stuff for what seemed miles.

I think that basically I am a team ant, and my natural optimism and team spirit will take over. But there is nothing like having change thrust upon me for bringing out the ant in me.

Just off to sharpen me mandibles on a handy stone!