The otherwise civilised world of cricket has been rocked today.  In an unprecedented move, the Pakistani team have been forced to forfeit their latest test match after allegations of ball radicalizing.

 

“First of all the ball seemed quite normal.”  Explained Tarquin Smythe-Wesson of the MCC “But then we noticed that it didn’t get on with the other balls.  It started becoming more and more withdrawn, until it became apparent that it no longer considered itself to be bound by the laws of physics.  It would face Mecca every time it landed.”

 

Judges were called to investigate the ball, which had stopped shaving.  “Its three-day growth was affecting the aerodynamic qualities in flight.”  Smythe-Wesson told us.  “We also noticed that it was slipping off on Fridays.  We can only assume it was attending Mosque.”

 

Radicalized Corky balls have been a blight on world class cricket for centuries.  Dissident balls in India even refused to bounce during the protest against Britain’s colonial occupation of India.  One infamous 1922 morning, the English Umpire ordered each of the rebellious balls to be taken away and unpicked.

 

Meanwhile, Pakistan’s national cricket team face other difficulties.  Since Monarch Airlines have placed Asians on their list of prohibited items, the team now face a very, very long walk back from the Pavilion.

 

Related news:  BBC - "Suspicious pair" taken off plane 

 

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