George W Bush has announced today that the USA will be expanding its borders to include deep space.  Under the new policy shift, the whole of the solar system will now be reclassified as American Soil, and any issues which take place on Planet Earth will now be dealt with by the Ministry of Interior.

Under the new classification, the President of the Solar System now has jurisdiction over not only every person on earth, but also over the entire Galaxy.

"It makes sense." the Galactic overlord announced. "When you watch Star Trek all them space aliens talk with an American accent, so we don't expect to have a problem communicating with them critters like we had with them Arabs. Our message to the Martians is plain and simple: You're either with us or against us. My advice to the Mekon would be to think long and hard about returning Elvis before we have to take security matters into our own hands."

Under new powers which he granted himself this morning, The President of The Sith announced that his Galactic Empire would be staffed by an army of Genetically Modified Clone Warriors which would be specially selected and trained by Walmart.  He also announced  that Titan would be renamed 'Azkhaban' and used as an off world detention facility for "potential enemies of the species".

However, Emperor Bush had no trouble in justifying his new hard line stance in the stars. "I don't think any of us want to wait for the smoking Ray gun before we take action.  I have here a British Intelligence report, which shows just how serious the threat from Mars is likely to be.  I quote: 'No-one would have believed, in the last years of the century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably super-' sorry, that must be a typing error there. but look here, paragraph three:' They drew their plans against us.' Gives you the willies just thinking about it, don't it?"

• BBC News - US adopts tough new space policy