Top tip #1:  When you go to a gig on your own you have to be prepared for a bit of difficulty.

You see, it's all very easy when there are two of you. You can sing along with the best bits, and you can nod at each other when you get to a good bit you both like.  When you get out you can talk about how good or bad it was. If you're so inclined you can even have a bit of a cuddle while you're waiting for the support act to get lost. But the single most important reason to take a friend or lover to a gig with you is to save your spot while you go for beers.

Top tip #2: When the ticket says doors open at 7, they mean turn up an hour later.

They mean they'll get around to opening the doors at around half past seven, or maybe almost eight. It means the band is enjoying a pint in the local boozer and they're in no rush to finish off the sound check. It means that, if you ignore top tip # 1, you're in for a contemplative hour listening to the backing real until the first support band get started, and if you're rooted to the good spot you've found for yourself so that you can't buy another beer, or even get to the toilet to make room for one, you're in for a spot of endurance gigging.

Top tip #3: If you're in a support band, try to learn enough mic skill to actually let the audience hear who you are when you say hello.

It means that the next day, when someone writes about how good you were, they might actually be able to pass your band's NAME on.

Top tip #4: If you're in a band called The Bluetones, just keep doing what ever it is that you're doing.

Only do it more often, because it would be a shame to think that I'll have to wait another year to see that again.

Serendipity

I wasn't expecting to go.  I'd known they were on for ages, but a couple of unscheduled disasters with the car meant that my disposable had been eaten up at the very start of the month. Add Jessies birthday (5 tomorrow) to the list and you've got a financial recipe for one missed Bluetones concert.

Which is why it was so amazing when karen handed me a bag of shopping the day before the gig with a solitary ticket buried inside. She'd only popped out for a loaf and a pint of milk. It's amazing what you pick up at the Co-op these days.

Anticipation

I'd last seen the Bluetones in 96 and 97. They played a stand-out set  at the Cambridge Junction, and then headlined the NME stage at reading and Leeds the following year. I guess they've hit the big time now. Play Holmfirth and you know you've made it.

The first support act was well worth listening to. The second not so much. I hate to be ageist but they looked like they were too young to shave. Rock just doesn't sound right coming from kids. As soon as they raise their voices I have to fight the urge to take the guitars off them and tell them to clean up their rooms. Admittedly, they acted the part, even to the point that the lead singer kept his welding standard shades on for the duration off the evening, even though he probably needed a Labrador to guide him out.

The Picturedrome is a local treasure. Every time I'm there I'm blown away by how lucky we are to have it on our doorstep.  You want to watch a movie? Great. No problem. Fancy a pint of bitter with that? Now that's what I call civilised!  It's a Victorian theatre that looks like a significantly scaled down version of the theatre from The Muppets. And it's a wonderful wonderful building for concerts.

Delivery

The band came on at about twenty past nine. And by this time it had warmed up nicely.  There were plenty of people in but it wasn't a crush, even at the front. I'd say the average age there was about forty, so there wasn't the usual hassle you'd expect with a hall full of teens. Have you ever been in a pub that didn't look all that brilliant but turned out to keep a really good pint that made you come back for more? Well, that's how I'd sum up the sound system at the Picturedrome. It was just perfect. Deep feel-it-in-your-stomach bass, but enough clarity to make out every word.

But none of that mattered. There's something about the confidence of an experienced band that just makes an audience happy. As soon as Mark opened his mouth to say hello, we knew it was going to be a good night. The experts were back in charge.

So, they opened with a few favourites, then previewed some of the new material. The crowd begged for "After Hours", so they laughed and played "Keep the Home Fires Burning" The crowd begged for "Cut Some Rug", so they laughed and played "If". Had it been anyone else, I would have thought they were just plain cruel. But Mark's easy chat and apparent total lack of big headedness just made it seem like we'd been best mates for years.

Half way through, I finally gave up my prime spot on the balcony and went for a much needed rest break and a pint of cider. Very good move. I spent the remainder of the spectacle propping up the stage closer than even the bouncers would get at a festival. Top banana.

And then it was all over. It happened so fast I was sure they'd played about forty minutes. But no. Einstein had been hard at work, and the best part of two hours had flashed by without my noticing.

Regrets

Too few to mention. But there is one: I am never - never going to go to a Bluetones gig on my own again. Next time I want someone else to go, just to have someone to sing with on the way home.

Related:

• Bluetones Official Website
• Bluetones Wikipedia Entry 
• Holmfirth Picturedrome