Essays

I woke up this morning with a brilliant idea.

It was a world beater. It was the best idea I'd ever had. It was probably going to revolutionise the future of home entertainment as we knew it, and it was something that would work. After all those years of wondering how I was going to make my fortune, this big idea had splashed into my dream with all the clarity of a message from the angels...

Love it, hate it, you'll be hard pushed to avoid it. Personally I've found the Harry Potter books to be amongst the most entertaining stories I've ever read. I picked up the first book to see what all the fuss was about and I found it, to use the publisher's waffle, “unputdonwable”.

On Friday night, the wait (for very fast readers) will be over. The last book will be out. I thought it was about time I nailed my colours to the mast to say I think I've worked it all out. If I had a spare few quid, I reckon my theory is so tight that it would be worth a fiver at the betting shop. Not that they'd take me on, of course. Word will have got around Bradford by now that they have a genius in their midst.

Amenhotep IV better known as Akhenaten ruled in Egypt over 3,000 years ago, his reign which lasted 18 years was probably the most controversial of any pharaoh. At a time in Egyptian history when polytheism was the religion du jour Akhenaten tried to bring about a religious revolution by trying to establish a form of monotheism with the God Aten, as depicted by the sun’s disc, as the central deity. There is speculation that he may have introduced his new religion in an attempt to lessen the political power of the many priests. This meant that the Pharaoh, not the priesthood, was the sole link between the population and the Godhead which effectively ended the power of the various temples...

Another fine morning in the Westminster village. Tony and John wake up to discuss the problems of the day. For Tony, it's a question of the leaky roof, the wife's sex drive, and that nasty Afghanistan business, while John's wondering whether or not to treat hinself to something special from Cosmo.

Or: How to save the planet, save yourself some cash and do down Chelsea Football Club in one easy move. This is the story of my attempt to implement a more environmentally friendly system for heating my house. The story of the Bastard Son ...