The Arktopus
Eight legged news travels faster...
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Contributor: David Steele
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Sunday, 03 September 2006 |
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My interest in politics has been restored by Caroline Flint. |
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Contributor: David Steele
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Saturday, 02 September 2006 |
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Minister for Fertility, Peter Mandelson, has hit out at "Ugly fat chicks." who are applying for IVF treatment. |
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Contributor: David Steele
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Thursday, 31 August 2006 |
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A community Policeman has had his bicycle clips removed in a solemn ceremony today, in the quiet village of Great Shagging. |
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Contributor: David Steele
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Monday, 28 August 2006 |
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Iran has shaken the Western World again by claiming it intends to resume its light entertainment programme. At current rate, it is believed to be just weeks away from commissioning its own game shows.
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Contributor: David Steele
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Saturday, 26 August 2006 |
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Spotted this on ebay. Does anyone think we should call the police?
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Contributor: David Steele
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Friday, 25 August 2006 |
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Safety campaigners today have criticized the decision by a High Court judge to sentence a team of six firemen who burned down several hospitals and occupied schools to just half an hour of community service.
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Contributor: David Steele
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Thursday, 24 August 2006 |
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The latest GCSE results are better than ever, with every schoolchild in the country now achieving the much prized A-star grade.
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Contributor: David Steele
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Wednesday, 23 August 2006 |
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Internationally famous orchestras have been hit hard, and many are even cancelling their concerts, as new rules governing luggage on aircraft mean that musicians will no longer be able to travel as hold baggage.
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Contributor: David Steele
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Tuesday, 22 August 2006 |
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Today the Shadow Home Secretary, David Davis, spoke out against the expansion of the Solar System, claiming that the integration of new member planets would lead to a "downgrading of all worlds".
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Contributor: David Steele
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Monday, 21 August 2006 |
The otherwise civilised world of cricket has been rocked today. In an unprecedented move, the Pakistani team have been forced to forfeit their latest test match after allegations of ball radicalizing.
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Contributor: David Steele
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Sunday, 20 August 2006 |
After the success of the Shot At Dawn campaign, posthumous pardons seem to have become rather fashionable. Thanks to inside information from my stolen MOD soft drinks dispenser, I am happy to be able to report the planned pardon of around twenty five thousand people who were wrongly executed for being German civilians on the night of February 15th, 1945. |
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