'What do you talk about at the pub when you're drunk?' asked David, when I hummed and ha'd about what to write for this journal today; which made me chuckle – as inevitably during those episodes there is an amount of world-setting-rightness, a sharing of opinions probably best kept guarded but now unleashed to slither over the inhibition barrier, all accompanied by a smattering of hyperbole; and an invincible desire to start texting people... Cringe.... Certainly, my powers of philosophical and psychological perception become diamond-sharp, my insight deepens, my contribution to the world is volubly greater and if people are really, really lucky, I may start singing.

One of the memories that doesn't dull with time for me is the thrill I experienced the very first time I sat in a Starwars Arcade Machine. To me, it was about as close as I'd ever come to actually being Luke Skywalker, and I was so excited that my hands were shaking. Even at the time, I remembered the words from the novelization of the Starwars movie by Alan Dean Foster, describing how Luke had felt before setting off in Red five. “...Luke had flown these fighters many times before – in his dreams.”

After losing the identities of millions of Child Benefit recipients, details of the sexual preferences of trainee doctors, and the banking details of just about every learner driver in the country, the government is facing its most embarrassing episode yet, after it became clear that the Official Olympic Torch has been misplaced.

Speaking on behalf of the British Population, Gordon Brown said “I'm really, really sorry. We think it's still in Terminal Five at Heathrow, so maybe it will turn up in a few weeks.”

A poem about choices

We have three stories based on the exploration of Europa for you.

You lucky people!

Anyone who's still writing one, or is thinking of doing so, should feel free to contribute at any time.

I was listening to the radio and the topic of the day was Celebrities Behaving Badly. A rather earnest discussion was taking place about the way society looks down on common drug users as scum, but is perfectly happy to see rock and pop stars off their faces on a more or less permanent basis.

“We have an expectation that our celebrities will misbehave.” One of these experts announced. ”It has been that way since Jerry Lewis, The Beatles and The Rolling Stones.”

You think? That long ago, huh?

Well, for all you fans of Naughty Musicians, I have a tale with a slightly more notable pedigree. This sordid but chilling story dates back to the turn of the fifteenth century, and is, I hope, more interesting than whether or not Amy is in rehab again this week.

Another image from Scarborough