There have been dramatic scenes at the Word Food Programme's head office in Rome today, as celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey added his weight to the objections laid out by the Burmese Junta.

As planes finally began to unload their cargo at Myanmar Airport, Ramsey was seen wielding a baseball bat and demanding that the food be sent back to its country of origin...

Hello Hello!

Three stories, you lucky people!Expect bad language, traumatic scenes, forensic examinations and all manner of unpleasantness in this Crime Scene special. many thanks to Kathy and Susanna who joined in the fun. I do happen to know that there are a couple of not-quite-finished offerings out there too. Guys - don't worry about it! Just submit your work when it's done and we'll enjoy it all the more for waiting!

The more Eagle-Eyed amongst you will have noticed that we've had a few...erm issues to deal with on the site lately. David Barltrop has been busy working on the new version of ArkSanctum, which will he tells me will be WC3 compliant.

Why we would need to worry about that particular area of London is beyond me, but I know it involves a lot of hard work and not much sleep. As with any project, the real worry is when you're left with a tray of nuts and bolts that you didn't have earlier. At the moment, David is busy searching for the washer that holds the comment system in place but every time he tries to start it up he gets a face full of oil.

We're not posting much for the next few days, while everything is on the ramps. However, please keep checking with us as we've not lost interest. ArkSanctum has attracted quite a few new users lately and after this spring clean we should have lots to share with you.

It all started with someone’s music teacher.

They mentioned that they had come across this website called Activeworlds. A 3D world where you could build houses and talk to people online, from anywhere in the world. Back in 1999 it seemed like a really imaginative use of the internet. Can you remember what it was like back then? Ive seen some photos on here, with people reminiscing about their early computers, so I guess so.

In fond memory of Mark Speight

Dear Mum

I do hope this letter finds you well. Having a lovely time on Planet Earth with the Mortals. It feels like ages since I was last amongst children, and I think I'd rather forgotten how noisy they are!

Many of you already know, but I will be producing a "Crime Scene" issue of Sunday Journal on Sunday May 4th. Anyone (And I do mean anyone) who wishes to contribute should write a short fictional story of a maximum of 2,500 words.

Please do your best not to clone CSI episodes. A crime scene can take on many forms and many faces. It would look different to the criminal. And what defines a "crime" anyway? Further to that, what is a crime scene before it's a crime scene? is it a black and white concept?

'What do you talk about at the pub when you're drunk?' asked David, when I hummed and ha'd about what to write for this journal today; which made me chuckle – as inevitably during those episodes there is an amount of world-setting-rightness, a sharing of opinions probably best kept guarded but now unleashed to slither over the inhibition barrier, all accompanied by a smattering of hyperbole; and an invincible desire to start texting people... Cringe.... Certainly, my powers of philosophical and psychological perception become diamond-sharp, my insight deepens, my contribution to the world is volubly greater and if people are really, really lucky, I may start singing.

One of the memories that doesn't dull with time for me is the thrill I experienced the very first time I sat in a Starwars Arcade Machine. To me, it was about as close as I'd ever come to actually being Luke Skywalker, and I was so excited that my hands were shaking. Even at the time, I remembered the words from the novelization of the Starwars movie by Alan Dean Foster, describing how Luke had felt before setting off in Red five. “...Luke had flown these fighters many times before – in his dreams.”

After losing the identities of millions of Child Benefit recipients, details of the sexual preferences of trainee doctors, and the banking details of just about every learner driver in the country, the government is facing its most embarrassing episode yet, after it became clear that the Official Olympic Torch has been misplaced.

Speaking on behalf of the British Population, Gordon Brown said “I'm really, really sorry. We think it's still in Terminal Five at Heathrow, so maybe it will turn up in a few weeks.”